It’s been quite some time since my last post, and since I’ll be responding to an Indie Ink challenge this week, I thought it might be a good idea to address my absence these past couple of months.

VONA was a major turning point for me. It was the first time I had ever felt a sense of belonging. It was the first time I actually found role models – people that I wanted to emulate, that provided me with so much truth and knowledge. I honestly don’t think they will ever truly know the impact they had on me.

Coming back to “reality” from such a high was jarring. VONA opened doors that I had shut so long ago. I found the courage to walk through them without fear. But when I left VONA, I returned to a lurching, dispassionate reality. I felt as though tectonic plates had shifted inside me, yet the entire world somehow stood still.

I’m still trying to figure out where to go from here – not just as a writer, but as the person I am and want to be. I’ve stumbled upon “writer’s block” again, but have heavier blocks to lift this time. I have a lot of internal work to do. Journaling helps. I need to think about my priorities, though. How much do I want to write versus pursuing other endeavors? How do I become a better writer? How can I dig deeper inside, to the place where all stories originate, while keeping my own emotions at bay?

What happens next?


About MelissaR

Lover of words and movement. View all posts by MelissaR

2 responses to “Digest

  • jbakerhenry (@jbakerhenry)

    I can completely relate to you on this. I had blogged the same thing in re: to my residency. It took me a month or so to get back to writing steadily. Being given such a gift as an artist and being respected and lauded as an artist in a community of artists can be so encouraging and fulfilling that it’s a rude awakening to come back to reality. But it takes time to get back into the swing of things and you find yourself that much stronger by the new relationships and bonds you’ve created with like-minded individuals. It may take a few weeks (or months) but you’ll find that passion again and plus there’s always VONA next year and more great conferences and readings and residencies so the doors are always open.
    Take your time getting back in the swing of things…

    • MelissaR

      Thanks Jenn! I have a hard time with “patience,” so I think that’s also a part of the problem. I guess I just expected to be more productive than I’ve been, but instead I find myself stalled. I had to go back and reevaluate where my WIP was going. I realized I was telling a different story from the one I set out to tell. I wish I could dedicate more time to writing, but like so many artists, the day job is what’s paying the bills now. I’m definitely looking into other residencies/programs, and I’m trying to get the local VONA alums to get together on a regular basis. I think that will help keep me on the right track. I’m grateful for them and people like you who remind me that I’m not alone on this journey 🙂

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