“Begin your story with, ‘I wish someone told me…'”
This prompt made me think of regrets. I tried to think of a character and scenario in which I could apply this, but found myself looking back at Melissa circa 2008/09. I had loads of regret then. I still regret spending so much money on an education, but I’m trying to make the best out of the experience and grow from it. It’s definitely more of a rant than a story, but hopefully it’ll give some insight as to why I wish someone told me many things before I embarked on the career/job.
Please feel free to comment or leave feedback. Thanks again to Creative Cat for the challenge.
I wish someone told me to redline using Workshare instead of Word’s track changes. Apparently, my document with its track changes crashed Partner Asshole’s computer and now he’s pissed. He should be counseling a multi-million dollar client instead of wasting his time telling me what to do. Good job, first-year associate!
I wish someone told Partner Asshole to jerk off before coming to work. That could relieve some tension, possibly add a few years to his life, and maybe – just maybe – make me a little less suicidal or homicidal.
I wish someone told those execs at Company X how to sign documents. Above your name, right next to the sticky arrow that says “Sign Here.” It would save me a lot of time trying to track you down at Nobu at 1 a.m. to get it right.
I wish someone told me what to do about this insomnia. I could have slept for four hours last night, but kept wondering if I got all those damn signature pages!
I wish someone told me I’d probably need blow at some point. I’ve had two Venti Americanos this morning and am about to crack open a Red Bull. I’ve popped a couple of Excedrin for this incessant migraine; need more.
I wish someone told me that any job requiring you to check your Crackberry every hour is not a job you want to have.
I wish someone told me a Chanel bag, Mackage coat, and pair of Manolos aren’t worth it.